Getting into SHAPE for a Dr Strangelove moment

This year’s ‘Operation Spring Storm’ brings together a record number of allied troops – infantry from the Duke of Lancaster’s Regiment, soldiers from Latvia, soldiers from the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team of the US army and soldiers from Lithuania.

077The cheese eating, garlic smelling surrender monkeys contribution to Spring Break, sorry Operation Spring Storm, boosting the 6,000 seasoned revellers numbers will be a cyber-security team from France. No doubt we’ll all sleep sounder in that knowledge.

Of course the exercises are all about teambuilding, assessing infantry battalions’ skills, rehearsing cooperation and management methods. The only difference between these away days and the workshops I run is that my icebreakers tend not to include live fire rounds.

Before the alarm bells start ringing there are those who will reassure us that these operations have been a regular feature of the last ten years. This year’s Colonel Blimp jaunt will take NATO forces right up to the border with Putin’s Soviet Union [sic]. They are scheduled to finish on the 23rd May. God only knows if that will be the case or if a foot on the ground will turn into a jackboots yomping. Of course the exercise will consist of last minute electioneering for the Ukrainian presidential elections taking place on the 25th May.


The silence of our mainstream media in reporting on the fact that the three amigos, the UK, US and France has been deploying troops to the Baltic region for the last week has been deafening.  Those 150 members of the US airborne division who arrived in a military transport aircraft at Amari airbase are planning on hanging around until Christmas. There are lies, dammed lies and no smoke without fire. There’s probably funding for a PhD thesis in correlating an increase in false flag events during this period and the presence of the rebranded management consultancy sounding Academi formerly known as Xe Services nee  Blackwater. The two mistresses, the UK and France have deployed eight fighter jets to Lithuania and Poland to strengthen NATO air defence over the Baltic regions. While plucky little Poland has sent three of its Sukhoi Su-22 attack aircraft and a division of missile defence system unit SA-8, tasked with protecting an air base near Tallinn and the surrounding airspace.


The senior service, that’s the navy not the fags (we could have fun with here but the trouble with the French is that they have no words for double entendre) have chugged round to the Lithuanian port of Klaipeda to “ensure regional security.” Before alarm bells start ringing Britain hasn’t sent its aircraft carrier without planes, no the group is composed of assorted fag hags from Norway, the Netherlands, Belgium and Estonia. Reminiscent of those to be found hanging around Manchester’s gay village on a Friday night taking part in intensive military drills, stopping off at various ports participating in operation “Open Sprit” deactivating underwater explosives. Surely no seamen will be wasted in the making of this production.

And as we watch this silent movie play out on the big screen, the soundtrack being played in the background is ‘Lest We Forget’ it is a centenary since Europe last indulged in a major ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ dick measuring contest.

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