‘The Blog’

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‘The Blog’ is a collection of takes on management, politics and life in general, with regular posts to feed the soul.  Some posts will have a point – the point of some posts is to make you think.

After spending many years as a management consultant, stealing people’s watches to tell them the time, my intention is to have fun, cause mischief, entertain and above all inform. Consultant and writer by day, raconteur and stand-up by night, there is something for everyone. Click on the tabs to find out about me and the services offered. If you are offended easily, don’t complain, don’t come back – unless you have shedloads of money, in which case I’ll do my best to accomodate you – even I have to eat!

Andrew

CARD

Dulce et Decorum est Pro Patria Mori

t’s 100 years today since the end of the Somme, the cruelest, most senseless sacrifice of brave men fighting for the old lie:
- Dulce et decorum est Pro patria mori.
- It is good and noble to die for one’s country – is it ballocks! [sic]

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.

Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!—An ecstasy of fumbling
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime.—
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,—
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Wilfred Owen

The medals were awarded to my great uncle’s widow who twenty years later adopted my father. The parish priest Fr Henshaw who held the service at the military funeral in #Rochdale became Bishop Henshaw and my brother and I attended the school named after him. My grandfather was a founding member of #SinnFein and my father was adopted when his mother died. My uncles were abused in the care system. My father, 87 next month is abused by the system almost daily. The #abuse must stop.

Andrew Hutchinson's photo.
Andrew Hutchinson's photo.Andrew Hutchinson's photo.Andrew Hutchinson's photo.
All rights reserved © 2016 Andrew Hutchinson

In Trump We Trust?

America, you naughty country but I love you for coming out. It’s the last gasp of a dying empire – the rise of the demagogue. Well I expect the usual torrent of abuse from all the dummy throwers out there. Yes, I told you so. I ain’t smug he’s won, he’s a nut-job. Hilary beat the best man. No I don’t mean Trump on the popular vote but Bernie Saunders.

But I called it right, just like I called Brexit, just like I called the election, just like I call so many other things. You hear me but you don’t listen because it challenges your paradigm and I become toxic to your hollow success This old handle laughs at all the broken hammers out there, the happy clappy media types, the politicos, the policy wonks, the public serpents.

So while we’re at it let me share a few more home truths with you:

This isn’t a sceptred isle, it’s a septic isle but hey what else should we expect when the country has been run by a family on fucking benefits since 1066. Yes I’ve moved back to my roots to support an eighty seven year old father. I’m in a tower block, one of the seven slags. I’ve had my nose broken for spitting at a drug dealer. Every day, yes every day, I mix with drug users, people who sell their bodies, people who aren’t dumb but are voiceless. I’m on Universal Credit but they’ll either support my business plan or they’ll be told where to shove their benefits. I too am Daniel Blake. But you know what, I love them all. Get over it.

It isn’t the National Health Service it’s the National Sick Service and it’s a disgrace. Nurses do a good job but they are glorified arse wipers, Our education system is broken, it teaches people what to think, not how to think. Get over it.

I salute the sacrifice of the fallen but patriotism is a pile of poo. It’s manipulation by the big man in the big house of the little man who dreams of a house. And if you could resurrect the fallen they would believe they’d died in vain. Get over it.

Anyone who works in banking is morally bankrupt and if you work for gobernment, national or local you’re not in public service, you’re in self service, you’re getting paid. If you want to do public service do voluntary work. Get over it.

Keith Vaz MP was regularly shagging rent boys in the Holiday Inn Leicester at Sunday afternoon sex parties over twenty years ago and the authorities turned a blind eye. Why? Because there is nothing our security services and their puppet masters, the establishment love more than having a little bit of shit on someone and their peccadilloes for leverage. Get over it.

Terrorism is the poor man’s war. War is the rich man’s terrorism. Stuff the Prevention of Terrorism Act – terrorism is an asymmetric strategy in war – it is cause neutral – it is a bloody good weapon. We invented it, read Seven Pillars of Wisdom. Terrorism is instilling a sense of terror and panic, guess whose good at that? HMG. Get over it.

Most muslims are wonderful people but Islam is a twisted religion. Religions do not cause wars – man does. The most efficient factory in the world has two employees, a man and a dog. The man is there to feed the dog. The dog is there to keep the man off the machinery. Get over it.

My clan are the mavericks, the vagabonds, the mad scientists, the gypsies, the theatre people, the artists, the musicians, the deviants, the gays, the radicals, the outsiders and you – just wake up, stop watching reality TV and start living and reading – read Life After the State, read Straw Dogs, read Human Givens, read Velvet Rage. Get over it.

Am I a dick? Yes but what do you expect? My best friend is a cunt, my neighbour is an arsehole and I hang out with a couple of nuts. Get over it.

#Leicester #Brexit #ChicagoCubs #Trump #2016 #FeelTheChange

All rights reserved © 2016 Andrew Hutchinson

Rumours of my death were greatly exaggerated

“Its been a long time”, said the actress to the bishop. It’s also been a long time since I posted on here. A real breaking bad journey, more to follow … …

The first requirement of your ccriticalfriend is that I should be readily understandable and relatable. Clarity of writing usually follows clarity of thought. So I think of what I want to say, then say it as simply as possible. It helps if I keep in mind George Orwell’s six elementary rules (“Politics and the English Language”, 1946):

  1. Never use a Metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
  2. Never use a long word where a short one will do (see Short words).
  3. If it is possible to cut out a word, always cut it out (see Unnecessary words).
  4. Never use the Passive where you can use the active.
  5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a Jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
  6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous (see Iconoclasm).

See you soon … …

Bobby says …

Bobby says …
You can run a land with armies
You can rule a sea with boats
But I prefer democracy
Where you run a land with votes.

You can run a land with bullets
You can crush dissent with sticks
But I prefer democracy
Where you run a land with ticks.

You can run a land with slogans
You can dominate with voice
But I prefer democracy
Where you run a land with choice.

You can run a land with torture
You can keep control with fights
But I prefer democracy
Where you run a land with rights.

You can run a land with freedom
You can find a people’s heart
But if this is democracy
You have to play your part.

You can run a land that dances
You can run a land that rocks
By voting for democracy
With your condom inside a box.

Bobby Nitro after Steve Turner 2015

Bobby Nitro's photo.

 

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL FRINGE Monday 24th to Sunday 30th August 2015

Paradise in Augustine’s, 41 George IV Bridge, Edinburgh EH1 1EL
The heart and soul of the largest theatre festival in the world in the old town, off the Royal Mile. Venues now come in all shapes and sizes, with use being made of every conceivable space from proper theatres (e.g. Traverse or Bedlam Theatre), custom-made theatres (e.g. Music Hall in the Assembly Rooms), historic castles (C venues), to lecture theatres (theSpaceUK, Pleasance, George Square Theatre and Sweet ECA), conference centres, other university rooms and spaces, temporary structures (The Famous Spiegeltent and the Udderbelly ), churches and church halls (Paradise in Augustines), schools, a public toilet, the back of a taxi, and even in the audience’s own homes.

Augustines church Augustines StudioThis 100 seater venue will host Nitro Nites After Dark from Monday 24th to Sunday 30th August – Interactive comedy, chat and satire with special guests including comedians, performers, politicians and musicians – expect a couple of faces off the telly, all produced and hosted by yours truly.

For regular updates on who will be appearing on the show as guests and for the all important information on how to grab yourself some tickets be sure to click on the twitter link to follow me. My permission has been given, so technically you’re not stalking.

In the field of comedy, the Fringe has provided a platform that has allowed the careers of many performers to bloom. In the 1960s, various members of the Monty Python team appeared in student productions, as subsequently did Rowan Atkinson, Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie and Emma Thompson, the latter three with the 1981 Cambridge Footlights. Atkinson was at Oxford. Notable companies in the 1980s have included Complicite and the National Theatre of Brent. More recent comedy performers to have been ‘discovered’ include Rory Bremner, Fascinating Aïda, Reduced Shakespeare Company, Steve Coogan, Jenny Eclair, The League of Gentlemen, Al Murray and Rich Hall.

”"

Bobby Nitro hosts After Dark, a comedy chat show and showcase. The alter-ego of consultant, writer, raconteur and mentor Andrew Hutchinson, Bobby puts aside his stand-up act and takes to the couch. His guests, spread over seven performances, are an eclectic mix of politicians, musicians, actors, writers, comedians and bohemians at large. The audience interacts, their takes on random topics are forensically dissected and their talents showcased, as the banter and fun flow. Why would you attach a condom to your ballot paper? Will Werner sit down? Je suis Bobby. Follow @NitroNites on twitter for guest updates.

Tickets for all seven performances are available from Paradise Green, whereas only tickets for Tuesday through to Saturday’s performances are available from the Fringe Box Office on 0131 510 0022 quoting V#: 152 GR: E5

”https://www.paradise-green.co.uk/programming/index.php/show/qrcode/id/1398″

The performance on Monday will be a combination of press interviews, interaction with the audience and jamming. Sunday’s performance, on the last night of the Fringe, will be a charity fundraiser with all set props auctioned to raise funds and maybe even including the chance to bid to spend a day … and maybe a night with a French rock band.

All rights reserved © 2015 Andrew Hutchinson

Paying Tribute to The Laudanum Project

Australian macabre theatre group The Laudanum Project are on their way to Old Castlemaine Gaol to unleash their most nightmarish work thus far – The Grand Guignol Automaton.
laud 1
From out of their harrowing stew of visceral poetry and musical dissonance, they will bring to life the hideous story of Sandrine Moreaux, a tormented young woman with a terrifying past and an unspeakable future. Somebody once said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Of course this is true providing that the scrutinizing eye sees what is actually there. For if beauty is merely truth’s smile caught in a perfect mirror, what then happens when that smile finally dies and fades? Ask The Laudanum Project. If only they could be on their way to Edinburgh to appear on my chat show at the Festival Fringe. Well stranger things have happened; watch this space; but don’t hold your breath.
nitro nites jsbSet in Paris in 1920 this one act play explores the obsessions, phobias and waking nightmares of a young woman whose inverse perceptions of beauty and love lead her all the way from her sleepy village of Coulon and onto the neon smeared boulevards of Pigalle. Within this labyrinth of sleaze and danger Sandrine Moreaux hunts down the sanctified temple that has always haunted her dreams, the infamous Théâtre Du Grand Guignol. Taking refuge inside a darkened room within the theatre’s foyer Sandrine begins a terrifying journey that will leave her transformed and reborn. As narrator Alphonse Cheese-Probert pores over the hideously surgical minutiae of Sandrine Moreaux’s monstrous story the impossibly intense soundtrack created by Lady Sophronia Lick-Penny (Keyboards), Barnabas Oral (Percussion), and Shiny Helen (Accordion) forms an ever shifting musical tapestry that envelopes the entire story from beginning to end.
laud 4
With The Grand Guignol Automaton The Laudanum Project have once more ventured behind the curtain and conjured up a disturbing world where fear begets beauty, obsession begets love and ugliness is merely truth’s smile caught in a perfect mirror.
“Evoking Jean Genet and the penny dreadful, it both thrills and repulses, and will haunt you for days.” - Christopher Fieldus, Hana Theatre Journal
The Grand Guignol Automaton may be an unsettling piece of raconteur theatre but it is also a great piece of theatre.”
Myron My, Theatre Press
VENUE: Old Castlemaine Gaol, 36-42 Bowden St Castlemaine, Victoria, 3450
DATE: 16th & 17th of April
Time: 8:00pm
TICKETS: Full: $35 Concession: $30

Secret Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPP) – Investment Chapter

WikiLeaks releases today the “Investment Chapter” from the secret negotiations of the TPP (Trans-Pacific Partnership) agreement. The document adds to the previous WikiLeaks publications of the chapters for Intellectual Property Rights (November 2013) and the Environment (January 2014).

The TPP Investment Chapter, published today, is dated 20 January 2015. The document is classified and supposed to be kept secret for four years after the entry into force of the TPP agreement or, if no agreement is reached, for four years from the close of the negotiations.

Julian Assange, WikiLeaks editor said: “The TPP has developed in secret an unaccountable supranational court for multinationals to sue states. This system is a challenge to parliamentary and judicial sovereignty. Similar tribunals have already been shown to chill the adoption of sane environmental protection, public health and public transport policies.”

Current TPP negotiation member states are the United States, Japan, Mexico, Canada, Australia, Malaysia, Chile, Singapore, Peru, Vietnam, New Zealand and Brunei. The TPP is the largest economic treaty in history, including countries that represent more than 40 per cent of the world´s GDP.

Reminding the world that 1984 is a User Manual and not a novel.

https://wikileaks.org/tpp-investment/

All rights reserved © 2015 Andrew Hutchinson

 

Chic Geek Gets Political

The ChicGeek got political, this month, as he launched his campaign to be elected the chicest Member of Parliament in the forthcoming General Election. As the style leader of the Ginger Party, he will taking his role as the UK’s foremost men’s blogger to the home of democracy aiming to educated that scruffy lot in the details of male style.

Check out TheChicGeek kissing babies, standing on his soapbox and flying his poster all town in #VOTEGEEK. Plus see his trip to the BAFTAs, why we should all aspire to copy Calvin Harris, his honest reviews of all the latest grooming products, plus much more.

All rights reserved © 2015 Source: http://thechicgeek.co.uk/

A King’s Speech, A Pauper’s Lesson

It has been a wonderful week. I’ve been given the all clear, got myself a nightclub booking in London on Saturday and I have a tryst next Wednesday. So tonight I’m just chilling. And what better way than sat watching the Oscar proclaimed King’s Speech. You know it is such an inspiring film on many levels. It sent me off in search of an article I read some time ago. I’ve reproduced it below.

lessons-from-the-kings-speechIn a world where people start judging someone by what the person wears, how she behaves and how he talks, imagine the plight of a person with speech impairment. His problem is even more complex if he is the King of the country. This movie has some inspiring moments, some of which are discussed below.

1. Perseverance - The movie shows what a person can achieve with Perseverance. The more and more the protagonist King George VI practices the right way of speech, the more confident he becomes. The more that he learns and practices the right speech methods, the more he unlearns the methods that are not good for him. There’s so much that can be learned from this single aspect of the movie.

The Lesson
: It reiterates, in a compelling manner, the age-old saying “Try, try, try – until you succeed.”

2. Support - The protagonist’s wife is his sole pillar of strength. Her unconditional support and faith in her husband is inspiring. The wife’s acts and gestures clearly show what faith and support can do to a person. When you lose faith in your very self, and someone else relentlessly works towards reinstating that confidence in you, it changes your world for ever, for the better. If the protagonist did not have the support that he received from his better half, he might not have turned into what he went on to become, given that he was already devastated and low on self-confidence.

The Lesson
: When you are on the brink of giving up by virtue of losing faith in yourself, the faith another person has in you can turnaround your life. It can re-kindle your confidence, it can give you the energy to fight back with vigor, and it can do some many more things that you might never have thought you could do.

3. Unconditional Love – This is a tad related to the above point, but still worth a mention.  Where his very own sibling and peers would make a joke of the protagonist, here came a woman into his life who remains by him at every crucial moment of his life. That, someone can do, only from the seat of unconditional love – love that has no formalities, no clauses and no rules.

The Lesson: You don’t have to be related by blood to love unconditionally. Love is love – it has no set parameters or boundaries.

4. Self-fulfilling prophecies – The protagonist, somewhere at the age of five, faces situations that go on to make him speech impaired. As he grows, he makes himself believe that his speech difficulties cannot be cured. And that’s the very belief he holds every time he meets a new doctor. The movie is a great example of how self fulfilling prophecies can destroy a man. And when those self fulfilling prophecies are your own thoughts, something needs to be done immediately. And when the protagonist realizes that his speech impairment is more in his mind than a fact, he comes out victorious.

The Lesson: Your thoughts can either make you or break you. If you believe you can’t do it, you won’t and if you believe you can do it, you will.

All rights reserved © 2015 Source: https://randomwisdomblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/17/lessons-from-the-movie-the-kings-speech/

When We Are Young

When we are young age has no meaning
I never gave it a second thought
until one day along came this old man
and this is what he said to me
and this is what he said to me

I know what it is to be young
but you, you don’t know what it is to be old
someday, you’ll be saying the same thing
time takes away so the story is told

I’ve asked so many questions
to the wise men I’ve met
couldn’t find all the answers
no one has as yet.
There’ll be days to remember
full of laughter and tears
after summer, comes winter and so go the years
So my friend..
let’s make music together
I’ll play the old while you sing me the new
In time when your young days are over
there’ll be some one sharing their time with you

I know what it is to be young
but you, you don’t know what it is to be old

So my friend..
lets make music together
I’ll play the old while you sing me the new
In time when your young days are over
there’ll be some one sharing their time with you

there’ll be some one sharing their time with you

ORSON WELLES